


Of Bookshelves and Perception

by boats_birds



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Library, Blind Character, First Kiss, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, KagaKuro Exchange, M/M, Romance, in which Kagami and Kuroko truly see each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 02:27:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7023052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boats_birds/pseuds/boats_birds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There’s no way. There’s absolutely no way. But the longer they sit there, the more there’s apparently a way.</p>
<p>
  <i>“…Oh, shit.”</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Bookshelves and Perception

**Author's Note:**

> For [Naomi](http://thearkhamjoke.tumblr.com)!
> 
> Happy (super late) KagaKuro Exchange! I know I'm ridiculously late for my own event, and I wish I could blame something else, but it's really just me being a procrastinating piece of shit. I really, REALLY loved all of Naomi's prompts, to the point that it was difficult for me to choose, so I ended up combining two of them because I liked the idea of it~ This is the longest work I've ever written by far, but it's also been one of my favorites to write, so I hope that it reads okay and that you enjoy it, even if it's only a little! <3

He should’ve never let Furi talk him into meeting here.

Honestly, there were few places Kagami felt he belonged in this world—few being just the local basketball court, his empty apartment, and behind the stove at his part-time job. Anywhere else left him uncomfortable and awkward, fingers itching to hold a basketball and legs burning to run across asphalt. Home was somewhere just far and few between for him, somewhere he hadn’t quite found yet.

But none of those places ever were, or ever would be, the freaking _library_.

Kagami sighs, breath catching on a growl, and walks around yet another stupid bookshelf. He can’t help but feel surrounded on all sides, colorful spines grinning like teeth, their pages filled with such complicated kanji, he knows there’s no way he’d ever be able to read them. The only place that looks remotely inviting in this wordy hellscape is the kids’ section, full of picture books and hiragana, but he’s pretty sure he’d stand about 190 centimeters out of place so he turns into another maze of shelves.

“Furi, where the hell are you?” he grumbles, then nearly topples an entire section of books because _this is the third time he’s passed it, dammit._

Furihata had said to meet him over by the periodicals before heading out to their usual court, and he’d been fine with that! They usually met up in different places after work and classes anyways, just depending on what was close and if Kagami was hungry and how their schedules fell. So really, meeting at the library shouldn’t have been that big of a deal.

Except for one thing.

_What in the ever loving fuck is a periodical?_

“Dammit,” he hisses, catching a hateful eye from some of the surrounding patrons. For the sixteenth time since he’s walked in here, Kagami finds himself wanting to just toss his basketball out the door and follow behind it.

But he has to find Furi first, the little shit.

Casual basketball’s something they’ve kept up with since high school and through college, though others have joined them over the years. It’s one of the few things Kagami truly looks forward to, given that he didn’t like sitting in his apartment just spinning a ball on his fingertip. His legs were always itching to make the leap for a dunk, especially now, as they ached to go to the court.

He sighs again, kicks at the carpet, and curses under his breath. Giving up had never been part of Kagami’s vocabulary, but he’s pretty sure _library_ hadn’t existed in it until today either. Besides, wearing holes in the carpet wasn’t going to do anyone any good.

Stomping by the picture books and puppet show in the kids’ section, he heads straight for the front desk where Furihata worked as a clerk. If he couldn’t find the little sneak, maybe someone else who understood his weird love for literature could. At the very least—though he’d wanted to avoid it—he could ask for directions.

As he approaches the front desk, towards the looming “checkout” sign, he looks around for any sign of life. It doesn’t look like anyone’s around, which he’s kind of glad for, but doesn’t really help him in this missing Furihata situation. He sighs and goes to prop his hip on the counter, waiting.

But then he looks again. And he still nearly misses the person sitting behind the counter.

It takes him about three sweeps of the desk to fully notice the guy sitting behind it, and the first thing Kagami notices is that he’s reading a book. That’s not all that surprising—they _are_ in a library after all—but the focus with which he reads, pale fingers racing over each line, could rival Kagami’s on the court. He didn’t get how something with just a bunch of words could be that fascinating, but this guy was completely enraptured by it. Kagami almost felt bad for even bothering him.

Almost. Desperate times called for bothering Furi’s co-workers in an attempt to find his ass.

“Hey, can you help me?”

The clerk jumps, face snapping up to look at Kagami. And holy shit, those are some blue eyes. Bluer than cotton candy summers and melting fireworks and childhood sour candy. They stare right through him, crystal clear. Like he’s seeing into parts of Kagami no one should ever see, and it nearly makes him shudder.

He swallows thickly, forgetting where he even was because now he’s drowning, and _holy shit, those are some blue eyes_.

“I’m sorry. What can I help you with?” the clerk asks, setting his novel aside and breaking the trance over Kagami.

Right, he was asking for help, he needed to find Furihata. Right. Almost forgot. He shakes his head to fully clear his brain, and takes a breath to right himself.

“I’m looking for my friend,” he says in a rush. He holds his hand out to chest level. “About this tall. Brown hair, little eyes. Looks like he’d fall over if you breathed too hard on him.”

The clerk’s eyebrows slowly knot further and further with each of Kagami’s descriptions, until he’s just frowning at him. If Kagami didn’t know any better (and he probably doesn’t), he’d say the guy looked frustrated almost. The clerk opens his mouth, closes it, then takes a deep breath through his nose.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I can help you.”

Kagami pauses, before finally managing an eloquent, “What?”

Another frown, deeper than the last. “I don’t think I can help you. I’ve never seen the person you’re talking about.”

Then Kagami scowls without thinking. “Huh? But he works here as a clerk too. Has for a while. How could you have never seen him befo—”

And then it hits Kagami, like a dunk made straight onto his head.

Blue eyes blink up at him, clear and wide and deep, that much is obvious. But they don’t really _look_ at him. They’re focused on his mouth more than his gestures and expression. At first he’s nearly embarrassed, hand twitching to cover his lips because he’s not used to being stared at so openly. At Kagami’s silence, those irises shift to some point behind his shoulder, waiting.

There’s no way. There’s absolutely no way. But the longer they sit there, the more there’s apparently a way.

“… _Oh, shit_.”

A swish of blue hair as the library worker tilts his head at Kagami. But there’s a smile tugging on his face. Kagami can’t tell if the guy’s just being polite, or if he’s pissed and putting on a great show. Or maybe he’s entertained by Kagami’s reflexive cursing for being an idiot. Again.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize.” He clears his throat, finding a sudden fascination with a stack of books on the desk corner. They stand in silence, quiet.

He coughs again. “So…” his voice trails awkwardly, “You’re, uh…”

“Blind.”

He starts, not expecting to hear it so bluntly. “Yeah, that.”

He looks around the room, over shelves and carts filled with books, before stopping at the novel on the desk in front of him. It’s only then he notices that there’s no actual words, just a series of bumps raised over the pages.

Confusion curls heavy on his tongue. He can’t stop himself from saying, “And you work in a library.”

A nod. “So I do.”

“Isn’t that kinda…” He squints, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Weird? Or something?”

A small smile twitches on pale lips, as if he knows something Kagami doesn’t. “Or something. Ironic, in this case, I believe.”

Kagami blinks at him, slack jawed. Speechless for possibly the first time in his life.

This guy…was something else, that’s for sure. The polite tone that spoke so directly, the serene air around him that kept Kagami on edge and relaxed at the same time, and the _look_ he kept giving Kagami. As if he suddenly knew all of who Kagami had ever been and would ever aspire to be. It’s disconcerting, makes Kagami want to back away and build a wall between them.

Yet he finds himself drifting closer anyways, pulled by the tide.

His thoughts are suddenly cut off by a voice.

“Oi, Kagami! Didn’t I say over by the periodicals?!” He hears Furihata whisper-yell at him.

He turns to find a brown head of hair walking from behind a nearby bookshelf, pausing as he approaches them. Furi’s already got his book bag slung over his shoulder, his dress shoes for work traded out for tennis shoes. So he’d been waiting, if not possibly looking for Kagami too.

Furi glances between the two of them. “Oh, were you asking Kuroko where they were?”

“Kuroko?” Kagami asks.

The clerk in front of him bows his head in response. “Yes. My name is Kuroko Tetsuya. You would be Kagami-kun, I assume?”

He hesitates for a moment, running Kuroko’s name over in his head and finally deciding that it suits him, then answers.

“Uh, yeah. Kagami Taiga,” he says, and nearly curses over how unsure he sounds over his own freaking name.

Kuroko smiles again, and Kagami can tell he’s trying to hold back laughter. “So you were looking for Furihata-kun. You should have just said so, rather than describing him. Since we both work here.”

… _Fuck_.

“I didn’t think about it!” he yells, face flushing with embarrassment.

This time he does laugh, just a small lilting of a sound, while Furi joins in, “Or just ask where the periodicals are!”

Once their laughter (and Kagami’s embarrassment) dies down, the two clerks talk for a moment, mostly about books and restocking and other things Kagami doesn’t really get. It doesn’t really matter, he supposes, when he’s more caught up in watching Kuroko. How even though he can’t see, his eyes can still light up at the mention of new novels.

“Well,” Furihata says, “we should get going to the court before it gets too late.” Then he grabs the strap of Kagami’s bag and tugs him along to the exit. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Kuroko!” he calls back with a wave of his hand.

Kagami follows his suit and waves as well, fingers curling, while Kuroko turns back to his novel. His eyes are still trained on blue when Kuroko pushes the sleeves of his button-up to his elbows and places his fingers to the page, that same intensity when Kagami first approached him returning. And he’s still watching through the windows of the library when they step outside, as Kuroko squints and mouths something to his book.

 Really, he’s such a weird little guy.

He’s so focused on Kuroko’s odd personality that he doesn’t even realize until they’re walking down the sidewalk, almost halfway to the court. It stops him dead in his tracks.

“Shit! I forgot and waved bye!”

Furi pauses beside him, eyes wide with surprise. “Huh?”

“I waved bye! And he can’t _see_ , Furi!” he whispers furiously.

A blink, a beat of silence. And then Furihata’s nearly doubled with laughter.

“Well, yeah!” he manages between breaths, “But it’s fine, I’m sure he doesn’t care.”

“Of course he doesn’t care! He didn’t see it!”

Furi wipes at the corners of his eyes. “Tell you what, I’ll tell him you waved bye when I see him tomorrow. So stop freaking out about it, it’ll make him feel awkward.”

Kagami huffs, and decides to be content with that. Next time, he’d just have to remember to verbally say goodbye. Not that he’s planning on a next time or anything. It’s just in case.

But he finds himself thinking about Kuroko Tetsuya through all of his and Furi’s game, mind drifting to eyes with constellations hiding inside them and a smile that knew secrets to a whole other world. He’s still thinking about their awkward conversation, about how blunt Kuroko was with his own blindness, and how he wants to hear more of what Kuroko’s thinking, when he realizes he never found out…

“By the way, Furi.”

“Yeah?”

“What the hell is a periodical?”

 

* * *

 

It’s two weeks later when Kagami goes to the library for no reason.

Sure, he’s been meeting up with Furi here ever since being introduced to Kuroko. And sure, Furihata was suspicious as to why Kagami said the library was fine for meeting from now on, but he’d eventually shrugged and agreed anyways. It’s become new routine for him to show up in the library a little early, then stand around and talk to Kuroko until Furihata shows up. Periodicals avoided.

But today, he’s not sure how he ended back in here. Because he isn’t even meeting Furi today. Instead he’s here of his legs’ volition, finding himself navigating through shelves of books, just to approach the front desk where he knows Kuroko’s on his shift.

And there he is, hands buried in a book and fingers skirting pages. That’s how Kagami found him more often than not, and he couldn’t help but think that Kuroko was right—it was pretty ironic that someone who couldn’t see could love to read so much. But there’s something that just…suits Kuroko about it, how it gives him this air of calm and contentment. It almost makes Kagami jealous, that he looks so at home while Kagami still feels so out of place in the world.

“Hello, Kagami-kun,” Kuroko suddenly greets him, without glancing in his direction.

He jumps in surprise, freezes, and then squints. He’s still a good five feet away, and he hasn’t even said anything yet. He’s had his suspicions for a while, but there’s only one way to really find out…

Quietly approaching the desk, Kagami abruptly stops and ducks, crouching on the floor. Kuroko gradually looks up, towards his general direction, but not at him. Then he waddles closer, until he’s right in front of the counter, gripping the edge of it. Slowly reaching out with his hand, he quickly waves it in front of Kuroko’s face. Those wide eyes never stray from looking straight ahead, focused somewhere just behind him.

Then Kuroko smiles. “What are you doing?”

He jumps back to his feet and points accusingly. “Are you sure you’re blind?!”

Kuroko blinks. “I’m almost positive, yes.”

His hand drops back to his side, and he mutters without thinking, “Yeah, well, you don’t look like you are.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Kuroko answers, shutting his book. Kagami would’ve flinched if it weren’t for the teasing grin sitting lightly on Kuroko’s face. “I can still hear you though. You have heavy footsteps. Even when crouching.”

“For some reason, that sounds like an insult.”

Kuroko ignores him and sets his novel aside, turning his full attention to Kagami. “Are you meeting Furihata-kun today?”

“No, not really,” he says slowly, scratching at his cheek. “He’s spending the day with his boyfriend.”

“Ah, I see,” Kuroko says, then his brows furrow, confused. He tilts his head, something Kagami notices he has a habit of.  “So, please pardon me for asking, but what are you doing here, Kagami-kun?”

Shit, the one question he really needed to avoid answering. Because why in the hell _is_ he here? Furi wasn’t here for basketball, Kagami doesn’t like reading, and there’s no way he could check out a book from the kids’ section. Especially not from Kuroko. _But what other freaking reason could he even have for being in a library?_

“I…I, uh…came to check out a book?” It comes out more as a question than a statement, and that alone makes Kuroko raise an eyebrow at him.

“You don’t seem like the reading type.”

“Hey! I can read!” he yells, smacking a hand on the desk.

Before Kuroko can respond, he glances around in panic and snatches a book from a nearby cart. He barely pays attention to what it even is, just notices it has some guy in a dumbass looking hat and a magnifying glass. It’ll make due. He tosses it onto the counter and huffs indignantly. There, let Kuroko make of that what he will.

Kuroko picks up the book without a word, just feeling along its covers. His fingers dip into the title etched on the front, and such a genuine smile comes over his face, that Kagami finds himself taken aback. Short of breath and drowning again.

“This is a wonderful choice,” Kuroko says. “One of my favorites.”

“Y-yeah, I’ve heard about it!” He grits his teeth against the lie. “Good book! Good reviews!”

“Yes, we’ll have to discuss it when you’re finished.”

… _Hold up, wait a minute now_.

Kagami blanches. “We’ll what now?”

Kuroko nods solemnly. “Yes. Furihata-kun wasn’t a fan, so I have no one to talk to about it. I’d love to know your thoughts on it.”

Kuroko wants to know his thoughts. On a book. On a very thick book with possibly very tiny writing. That he probably couldn’t even read. He should just back out now, just admit that he doesn’t like reading and can’t even make out certain kanji, or at least pick an easier book. It’s not like Kuroko would even care really, just laugh it off and tease him before setting the novel aside to be shelved later.

But Kuroko’s eyes are doing that thing where it looks like they’re backlit with a hundred stars, and Kagami finds his mouth moving against his will.

“O-okay then. Sure. Yeah. Book discussion. Sounds good.”

Except it wasn’t good at all. Especially when he checks out the book, quickly researches it online, and returns it the next day with not even half a cliff notes’ worth of knowledge. _Especially_ , especially when he checks out _another_ book, and proceeds to repeat the process with several _other_ novels that he still has literally no idea what they were about.

And even worse, he doesn’t think Kuroko even suspects him of literature fraud. He just asks Kagami what he thought of the book (“Yeah, it was good!” is his popular answer), what his favorite part was (“The dragon!” quickly becomes _not_ his popular answer when Kuroko informs him there was no dragon in that week’s novel), and what book he was going to pick next (“How about you pick?” is the only genuine thing he asks, curious as to what books Kuroko likes).

But worst of all, lying had never been a talent of his.

“Yeah, my favorite part was…” he hesitates when he goes to return his book, trying to remember what he vaguely found online, “when…that one thing happened.”

Kagami nearly smacks himself in the face for being such a dumbass. _Yet again_.

But Kuroko doesn’t miss a beat. “You mean when they found out the detective was behind it all along?”

“Yeah! That part!” He snaps his fingers. “Didn’t see that coming!”

Kuroko tilts his head, a quiet smile dancing on his face. “It foreshadows it at the beginning of the book, Kagami-kun.”

“I, uh, forgot! By the end of the book!”

And he wants to quit this tiring charade, partially because he’s never cared about books and he can’t stand having to search every other word in a kanji dictionary, but mostly because of how happy it seems to make Kuroko. He seems to really enjoy asking Kagami about all the novels he picks for him, eyes dancing around Kagami’s face in excitement, and really wants to know his opinions.

It leaves a bad taste in Kagami’s mouth when he mutters how much he likes them, when he’s never even opened them. It leaves him shaking and guilty in the stomach. Pathetic.

But he keeps coming back and keeps taking out books. Because what other reason would he use to come visit the library?

Because it was still totally the library and not its clerk that he kept coming back.

 

* * *

 

It’s another two weeks later when Kuroko finally asks to join him and Furi for basketball.

It takes Kagami off guard, leaving him gaping and confused. He’s not sure if it’s because Kuroko’s blind and can’t even play basketball, or because Kuroko’s never mentioned having an interest in the sport before now. Either way, he finds himself leaning intently over the desk into Kuroko’s space, snatching Kuroko’s book from him because _there are more important matters at hand_.

“You like basketball?” he asks dumbly.

Kuroko blinks, hands flexing before searching across the desk. “Why did you take my book?”

“Because! You like basketball?!”

“Yes?”

“Why didn’t you say anything before?!”

It’s supposed to be just an innocent question, almost rhetorical. But with it, the entire atmosphere around Kuroko changes. It’s more somber, tense, making thin fingers curl into fists. Kagami suddenly wants to backtrack, even though he’s not sure what’s happened, just because he doesn’t like the sad expression on Kuroko’s face. It doesn’t fit him.

“I played when I was young,” Kuroko says. “To a degree, anyways. I had a friend who taught me. He wasn’t very patient, but he played with me anyways. He loved basketball more than anyone I’ve known.”

Kuroko takes a breath and takes another book from beside him, looking almost as if he wanted to hide behind its pages. “But some things happened. He stopped playing, and so did I.”

A dozen images flash through his head—Tatsuya teaching him to play, Tatsuya declaring them brothers and rivals, Tatsuya punching him. Kagami has always loved basketball, more than he can put into words and more than he can even understand. But after that fight, when he had moved back to Japan and joined his school’s team, he always felt like something was missing. Until he eventually stopped playing on a team.

It was like he’d lost his own shadow.

“I get where you’re coming from. Sorry, man,” is all he can manage.

“It’s alright, Kagami-kun,” Kuroko waves it off. “It’s in the past. I’d just like to play again.”

In that moment, Kuroko seems a thousand miles away, a little storm lost at sea. And it breaks something in Kagami that he didn’t even know was vulnerable. He doesn’t like that look on Kuroko’s face, like he’s lost without a light. So he reaches without thinking and ruffles Kuroko’s light blue hair, fingers tangling in the soft strands.

“Then c’mon! Play with us!” he grins.

Kuroko hesitates, voice quiet. Searching. Even though he had been the one to ask. “You…don’t mind?”

“Hell no! Why would I mind?!”

“I’m blind, Kagami-kun,” Kuroko says slowly, as if he’s somehow forgotten.

“Well, yeah,” he answers just as slowly.

“You won’t be able to play like usual.”

“So? I’ll help you! And we’ll still kick their asses!”

Kuroko stares at him for a moment, eyes impossibly large and unblinking. Kagami almost thinks he’s said something wrong, like he usually does, and his tongue twists around an apology. But then Kuroko’s face splits into a smile, like sunrays through storm clouds, and Kagami’s at a loss for words entirely.

“Quiet, Kagami-kun. We’re in a library.”

Then he snorts, “You’ll get over it. You’re almost off the clock, right? Let’s go now!”

He can barely contain his excitement, and it seems his eager vibrations are felt even by Kuroko, who just laughs in return.

“Alright, let me get my things.”

It doesn’t take long for Kuroko to gather what few things he carries with him. Kuroko tosses his book into his shoulder bag before slipping it on, grabs his folding cane in his hand, and searches along the desk with his free hand until he’s on the other side of it. Kagami’s so eager to head for the court, already turning towards the door, that he almost misses something following behind Kuroko.

Something that looks suspiciously like it has pointy ears and a wagging tail.

Kagami freezes, staring with wide eyes. “…What is that?”

“Hm?”

“What is _that_?”

“This is my cane. So I can feel for ledges and obstacles.”

“ _Not that, you idiot! The other thing!_ ”

Said other thing barks at him, shaking its black-white tail as it approaches him. He scurries backwards, and wonders exactly how Kuroko has managed to hide the devil under his desk for so long.  _How in the hell had Kagami missed this for so damn long?_

“Nigou? He’s my guide dog.” Kuroko pauses before tacking on, “In a way.”

“ _He’s not even wearing a leash!_ ”

“I said in a way. He’s more of a companion.”

“ _Well, your companion isn’t invited!_ ”

Nigou whines and lays on his stomach, ears flat and Kagami would swear it just huffed a sigh. Eyes just as round and blue as Kuroko’s stare up at him, but these definitely see him and his trembling legs. It leaves him unnerved and edgy, like Kuroko was seeing him through his stupid dog.

Kuroko reaches down to scratch behind Nigou’s ears, but keeps looking forward at Kagami. “Kagami-kun, are you afraid of dogs?”

He scowls. “Afraid? No. Dislike? Yes.”

Another yip and Nigou crawls forward on the carpet, leaving Kagami rushing back and screeching between his teeth. He only stops when he’s pressed against the exit door, as far away from the little monster as he could get without actually leaving. Although that’s always an option too.

Then Kuroko _freaking smiles like he could see the whole thing_. “If you say so, Kagami-kun. But Nigou would never hurt anyone.”

A remark sits against his teeth—about how Kuroko doesn’t know that, dogs are unpredictable and could turn on you at any moment. But it stills when Kuroko stands back up and starts walking towards him, heading straight towards a stray library cart. The idiot’s not even using his cane yet, and Kagami’s already moving to tug him out of the way.

But then Nigou barks twice and runs for Kuroko, biting at the leg of his jeans and pulling him away from the cart. Kuroko pauses and reaches down to pick Nigou up, carrying him in his arms, much to the dog’s tongue-lolling happiness.

_Well, shit._

He grimances as he realizes something horrible. He _couldn’t_ hate the dog now. Not if he kept an eye out for Kuroko.

Kagami squints, and relents. “Sure, whatever. But keep him over there by you.”

He wishes he could say that the dog didn’t totally come with them. He also wishes that he didn’t feel an odd sense of camaraderie with said dog after that.

 

* * *

 

It’s a month later when Kuroko says the weirdest thing to him.

“I want to know your name.”

The statement takes Kagami off-guard, nearly causing him to shoot the ball to the other side of the park, possibly right into Nigou who’s lounging a few feet away. He turns to find Kuroko staring towards him, eyes focused on the basketball in his hands, fingers stalling over the page of his novel.

It’s just him and Kuroko and the sound his basketball on the court, just as it’s been for the past few weeks. After Kuroko played with him, Furihata, and their makeshift team of Furi’s boyfriend and his two friends, he asked to play almost every day that Kagami dropped by the library. And Kagami was turning out to drop by more often to play ball with Kuroko than Furihata, eventually ending up with only the two of them going on any given day.

Which is fine with Kagami, because he likes playing basketball with Kuroko. A lot. He likes watching Kuroko slowly dribble down the court, and he likes lining Kuroko up for a shot, and he likes all the random things they talk about in between. It’s not that there’s never silence with Kuroko, it’s just that there’s never an uncomfortable moment.

But Kuroko’s never mentioned something like this during all their little talks between sets.

“What are you talking about? I’m pretty sure you know my name by now.”

Kuroko laughs, soft and airy in Kagami’s ears. It’s a nice sound, he can’t help but notice. Then briefly wonders if it’s always been that nice and he just hadn’t been paying attention.

“Yes, I know how to say your name, Kagami-kun,” Kuroko answers. “But I want to know how to spell it.”

He blinks, and props the ball on his hip with a tilt of his head. “Don’t you know how to do that already though? In Braille?”

Kuroko had shown him briefly before, pointing out the series of dots that make up his name from a book. It was neat, if not confusing, given that Kagami still didn’t understand how Kuroko could read things just from little bumps. They all felt the same to him.

A shake of blue hair. “You misunderstand me. I want to know the actual characters,” Kuroko says, the corner of his mouth lifting into a smile. “I want to know what you write whenever you check out the books you never read.”

He does drop the ball this time, and it thankfully bounces away from Nigou. He snaps to Kuroko and points accusingly, jaw trembling in surprise. “H-how’d you know I don’t read them?!”

He’d swear that was a smirk on Kuroko’s face. “When you say your favorite part is ‘when the thing happens,’ it becomes a little apparent.”

Silence hung heavy between them, Kagami’s finger still pointing at Kuroko and Nigou still snoring under the sun. His face flushes hot, and for the first time, Kagami’s glad Kuroko can’t see him just so he doesn’t have to deal with the teasing he knows would ensue. He’d rather not die of embarrassment any time soon, thanks.

He huffs and crosses his arms, refusing to even glance in Kuroko’s direction. “…You’re a fucking shit, you know that?”

“So you’ve told me.”

Another puff of air leaves him as he walks over to Kuroko, standing behind the bench where he sits. Kagami digs through Kuroko’s bag for a scrap of paper and something to write, ignoring Kuroko’s casual call of, “It’s rude to go through others’ belongings, Kagami-kun.” He eventually finds an old receipt and a dull pencil and arranges them, receipt flat on the cover of Kuroko’s book and pencil placed in Kuroko’s palm.

“Kagami-kun?”

“You want to know how to write my name, right? I’m gonna show you.”

His hand settles over Kuroko’s holding the pencil, and he can’t help but notice. How the tips of Kuroko’s fingers are cold, how soft the back of his hand is, and how he grips the pencil just a little tighter when Kagami touches him. From this angle, he can only see the top of Kuroko’s head, and he finds himself desperate to know what kind of face Kuroko’s making.

He swallows, then guides Kuroko through the motions.

“The first one is ‘ _ka_ ’ for fire.” Two dashes followed by two swooping lines. “Then the character for god, ‘ _gami_.’ The next one’s the easiest. ‘ _Tai_ ,’ large,” he says while moving Kuroko’s hand with the three strokes. “And the last is ‘ _ga_ ,’ which is…Well, _me_ , I guess.”

Then all too soon, there’s Kagami’s name staring back at him in crooked chicken scratch. They both stare at the shaky kanji, written in wobbly lead and shaking fingertips, as Kagami takes a seat beside Kuroko. The pencil moves as Kuroko tries to recreate his name again lower down, overlapping strokes and ending in jumbled mess of symbols.

He doesn’t get a single one wrong.

Then Kuroko smiles, but this one doesn’t fill Kagami with the warmth he’s come to associate with the little library worker. No, this one is lonely, empty around the edges as Kuroko slowly runs his fingers over the writing. He’s quiet in a way that has Kagami wanting to reach for his hand again.

“It suits you,” is all Kuroko says. “Just as I thought.”

A thousand words sit on Kagami’s tongue. Words about how Kuroko should never look that alone, about how he wanted to hear that chiming laugh again, and about how his name didn’t really suit him at all. It was just a name. No big deal, _don’t look so sad_.

But they just sit there against his teeth. Biding. Waiting.

For what, he doesn’t know.

 

* * *

 

It’s a month and a half after that when he asks Furi a seemingly innocent question.

“How did you and Akashi start dating?”

Furihata immediately chokes on his fries, smacking his chest and coughing violent. It catches the attention of customers from around Maji Burger, as they turn to whisper while Kagami just sips at his drink. He hadn’t really _meant_ to bring this up during one of the few times they eat out, but it’d been sitting at the back of his head—which meant saying it without thinking was close behind.

A huge breath before, “ _Excuse me_?”

“You know,” Kagami waves his hand dismissively. “How did you know there was something there? Between you two?”

Furi’s eyes cloud with confusion, before staring at him flatly, a heavy beat of silence. Then, “You’re asking because of Kuroko, aren’t you?”

Now it’s Kagami’s turn to choke on his drink, coughing while his face burns bright red. Even more people are turning to look at them, but he barely even notices. Not while he’s trying to figure out exactly _where the hell Furi’s mind has gone, because he’s definitely lost it_.

“What?! No!” he hisses when he finally gets control over his lungs. “Where did that even come from?!”

A roll of his eyes and Furi leans back over the table, shoving more fries in his mouth. He looks almost bored, speaking as if he were explaining something obvious to a child. Kagami resists the urge squirt ketchup in his face.

“Kagami, you stopped mid-sentence the other day to warn him about a rock on the sidewalk.”

“He could’ve tripped!”

“You’ve started bringing him lunch whenever you come to library.”

“He doesn’t eat enough!”

“You faked reading books for weeks just so you’d have an excuse to go see him.”

“…I’m gonna kill him for telling you about that.  But that wasn’t why I did that!”

Furihata suddenly whacks him on the arm, looking much more intense than his impassive face from before. As if he has a hundred things to say but knows that Kagami’s only going to understand about four of them. He whaps Kagami on the arm again before stealing a handful of his fries while Kagami recovers.

“Hey!” he yells and rubs at his arm, surly frown on his face.

“You’re so obvious to everyone but you,” Furi sighs, “And Kuroko, for whatever reason.” He jabs a fry in Kagami’s direction for emphasis. “So just do all of us a favor, and ask him out.”

Just the thought of asking Kuroko out sends a flush over his face, down his neck, and out to the rest of his body. It’s not like he hasn’t thought about it before or anything, but it’s always been in passing. Something that’s flashed across his mind when he’s heard Kuroko’s laugh or turned to find blue, blue eyes directed his way. But it also left just as quickly, barely staying long enough for him to really consider.

Because as if someone as amazing as Kuroko could be interested in someone like…well, Kagami.

“We’re just friends!” he insists. “I was curious, that’s all!”

Furi arches a brow at him and Kagami can nearly touch the condescension behind his words. “Then ask him out as a friend. I’m curious, that’s all.”

His jaw unhinges to toss back that you don’t ask people out _just as a friend_. But the look on Furi’s face stops him. It wasn’t deadpan or intense, nothing of the sort. Just stern and honest, a sense of determination about him, and Kagami finds himself trusting in that look. Because maybe Furihata was right, and maybe it was worth a shot.

So Kagami rips into another one of his hamburgers and looks out the window, cheeks still hot and head still spinning with thoughts of little blind library workers. “Fine, I’ll do my best.”

For as timid as he could be, sometimes Furihata Kouki was a force to be reckoned with.

 

* * *

 

He doesn’t invite Kuroko over until a week later.

It’s not even a proper invitation, really. Just Kagami muttering, “Wanna come over?” while aiming Kuroko’s arms for a shot. Kuroko misses the shot by a mile, but he never misses a beat when responding, “If you wish, Kagami-kun.”

And it’s not like they even really do anything after they get to his apartment. Kuroko taps his way inside with his cane, walks around until he gets a decent mental map of the place, then looks towards Kagami with an expression he can’t read. He finally takes up residence on Kagami’s couch, Nigou plopping by his feet, waiting all expectantly.

They end up just eating some leftovers Kagami had from the night before while watching a basketball game, Kagami describing the more complicated parts to Kuroko and Kuroko talking about his book during commercials. It’s comfortable. Warm. Even when Nigou sleeps a little too close to his feet.

So it becomes a new routine for them—go to the library, go play basketball, go to Kagami’s apartment. Until Kuroko has his own cushion on the couch, books strewn about every surface, and Nigou has his own pillow underneath the coffee table. And every time Kuroko leaves, Kagami seeing him out the door, his place feels simultaneously smaller with the clutter of yet another thing Kuroko’s left behind, and impossibly larger without Kuroko’s little presence.

Kagami loves having Kuroko over. Sharing a meal with him. Watching dumb TV with him. Talking to him while he cleans up after dinner. Even when Kuroko drops a verbal bomb on him from out of the blue.

“I want to see you.”

He almost drops the plate he’s holding, his panicked scrabbling the only thing that saves it from an untimely demise on his kitchen tile. Kuroko apparently has a thing for scaring the shit out of him and having him nearly break everything in sight.

Then he actually hears Kuroko.

“…Huh?”

Kuroko’s voice calls from the couch again. Hesitant. Small. Breaking.

“ _I want to see you._ ”

He’s not sure what he was expecting, maybe some sort of metaphorical bullshit Kuroko picked up from some book. About seeing the real him, or seeing through him, or something else he wouldn’t understand. But the rawness of that normally soft voice sends something aching inside him, makes him set the plate down and walk over to flop on the couch beside Kuroko.

“Hey, what’s going on?” he tries, but Kuroko refuses to look at him, eyes downcast and hands clenching on his favorite novel.

And Kagami doesn’t like it. Not in the least. He knew Kuroko had been off all day, not bantering like normal and not cracking a single smile for him, instead lost in his own thoughts. It’s not okay, and he’d give anything to make Kuroko okay again.

So he takes the book from Kuroko’s hands, sets it aside on the table, and nudges the back of Kuroko’s hand with his own.

“Hey…”

Then he’s taking Kuroko’s hand in his, laying that small palm gently on his cheek. He curls their fingers together, slowly drags Kuroko’s fingertips over the arch of his cheek and down his jaw, until Kuroko gets the idea and moves his hand on his own, exploring. Kagami drops his hand to his lap, and he starts talking. About anything. About everything.

“I have this little scar on my chin. Something I got when me and my brother—Tatsuya—were being stupid.” Kuroko’s fingers quickly ghost over his chin, following after his words as if they were making Kagami tangible. As if he were painting a picture before the canvas disappeared.

“You have a brother?”

“…Sorta. We don’t talk much anymore.”

Kuroko hums in response. After exploring the shape of his chin, cool fingers trace back along his jaw and up over his cheek, so slow and solid, taking his time. Kuroko trails over to tug on his ear, pulling at the lobe, and maps their shape with trembling fingerprints. Then Kuroko’s thumb brushes under his eye gently.

“What color are your eyes?” His voice is barely more than a whisper.

“Red. Kinda dark. Same as my hair.”

Kuroko’s hand searches up to his bangs, tugs on the strands lightly before running his fingers fully through said red hair. Kagami resists the urge to close his eyes and purr, instead just tilting his head down so Kuroko can reach easier. Kuroko scratches over his scalp and down to his nape, chills erupting down Kagami’s spine at the sensation.

Then Kuroko touches over his forehead, following the shallow wrinkles there. He dances his fingers further down. Pauses on his eyebrows. Traces them. Hesitates. Then traces again.

Kagami can tell he’s searching for words before he finally says, “Your eyebrows are very…”

Said eyebrows pull downwards into a scowl. “Weird, I know.”

“Unique.”

“Don’t lie, you ass,” he scoffs. “You were gonna say weird.”

A twitch of a smile, the first Kuroko’s shown today. “Actually, I was going to say strange.”

Kuroko draws his middle finger down the bridge of Kagami’s nose, so lightly it makes him scrunch said appendage. He keeps trailing his finger down, over the tip of his nose, until there’s a pause. And then he’s touching Kagami’s lips.

Red heat erupts across Kagami’s cheeks as soon as Kuroko’s fingertips brush his upper lip. Kuroko’s slow to explore his mouth, fingers outlining the shape of it with concentrated precision. Once he’s done memorizing the top, he thumbs Kagami’s lower lip, feeling exactly how full it is before plucking it gently. Kagami breathes against his fingers and has to make a concentrated effort to not nip at them every second they’re touching him.

If Kuroko feels how warm his face is, he doesn’t say anything about it.

He nearly makes a comment, nearly says something they might both regret, the words curling on his tongue, when Kuroko practically crumbles before him. Both of his hands move to cup Kagami’s face, palms pressing and fingertips clutching, and Kagami’s shocked by the strength that’s in those little hands. Blue eyes frantically search around his face, desperate and nearly panicked.

Kagami tries to ignore the sharp pain in his chest when Kuroko chokes out, “ _I just want_ …”

One of his hands raises to take Kuroko’s in his own, tugging him closer while Kuroko’s breath hitches. He tangles their digits together. He doesn’t get where Kuroko’s coming from—it’s something he’ll never be able to fully understand because Kuroko’s sitting right in front of him and he can fully see him.

But he does get one thing that Kuroko should know already.

“So you can’t see me. Big fucking deal,” he says, accidentally making Kuroko flinch back. He finishes in a rush, “That doesn’t mean you don’t know me. That doesn’t mean you don’t get me. It doesn’t mean shit, Kuroko.”

He squeezes Kuroko’s hand. Tight. “It just means you get to touch my face a little more than other people.”

Kuroko squeezes back. Tight. “Just a little more?”

“Yeah, just a little,” he grins.

Then Kuroko breaks. Eyes pooling and red-rimmed, teeth clenching around a low noise, he breaks with only Kagami holding him together. He grips Kagami’s face so firm, and Kagami can’t help but notice how his hands shake. It takes everything in him to not gather Kuroko close, until there’s no space between them for Kuroko to be alone anymore.

“Thank you,” Kuroko breathes. “ _Thank you_.”

Kagami pretends as he cups Kuroko’s cheek in his hand. Pretends as he brushes away the wetness he finds there with his thumb. Pretends he’s just truly seeing Kuroko too, the way Kuroko just saw him.

And then he wonders if maybe that’s exactly what he’s doing.

 

* * *

 

It’s two months later when Kuroko nearly gives Kagami a heart attack.

It was supposed to be just another ordinary night, Kagami cross-legged on the couch with Kuroko sitting all proper beside him, knees brushing in a way that neither of them comment on. There’s something on the TV that neither of them are paying attention to, instead lapsing into a silence that makes Kagami hyperaware of every shift the smaller makes beside him. He nearly jumps out of his skin when Kuroko says something out of nowhere.

“I want to…”

The rest is muffled, Kuroko’s low tone trailing off into somewhere Kagami couldn’t follow. Because there’s no way Kuroko actually said that. No way in hell. But then Kuroko’s ears tinge pink and he buries his face in the pages of his book, even though he has to use his hands to read it, and holy shit, maybe he actually said it.

Kagami briefly wonders if Kuroko knows how cute his embarrassed face is.

“…You want to what now?” Kagami asks dumbly.

Kuroko inhales, holds his breath, then mumbles to his novel.

“I want to kiss you.”

He suddenly coughs, choking on his own spit, and both Kuroko and Nigou jolt in their spot.

If Kagami said he hadn’t noticed the change between them, then he’d be an ever worse liar than he thought. Ever since Kuroko ‘saw’ Kagami, sitting on this very same couch, there’d been a _difference_. It was there when their hands accidentally grazed each other, when Kagami would tap Kuroko’s back to let him know where he was, when Kuroko would say his name just to hear him answer. It wasn’t anything major, just something comfortably subtle, a firefly spark.

And Kagami was _more than fucking okay with it_. Feeling so close to Kuroko, trusting him with so much, and just being able to let down every wall he’d built over the years. When he’d talked to Furi, he’d never actually given complete thought to how he felt towards Kuroko—probably because he was too afraid to consider where it would lead, where they would end up. But now he had no doubts at all.

He likes Kuroko. A lot. And Kuroko might like him too.

But that didn’t mean that he’d seen this coming. Not by a long shot.

Kuroko fiddles with his book, mindlessly rubbing across the Braille, and tapping his feet on the wooden floor. He seems almost defensive, shielding, and he can’t quite meet Kagami’s eye when he explains himself.

“You see, I’ve wanted to for a while, but…” he trails off, hesitating. “I’m afraid I would miss. I’d hit our noses together or end up kissing your eye,” he says in a rush.

Then his voice is soft, curious. “Is… Is that okay? You don’t have to, but… is it okay for me to want to?”

In that moment, Kuroko looks the smallest he ever has. Like he’d shrink away into nothing if Kagami looked at him for too long, the ghost of a shadow. For a brief moment, Kagami’s angry. Mostly because Kuroko acts like Kagami would think of him differently, like Kagami would tell him that it’s not okay for whatever dumbass reason and kick him out of his house.

“Idiot,” he mutters, and Kuroko hunches away. Kuroko’s hand reaches for his bag, but Kagami grabs his fingers before he can touch it. He takes a breath, curses his face that seems to be permanently blushing around Kuroko, and sighs through his nose. Oxygen courage.

“Both is okay.”

Kuroko freezes. Blinks. Trembles. “What?”

“It’s okay to want to. And it’s okay with me.”

Kuroko’s breathy, “Oh,” is all the confirmation he needs before reaching to cup pale cheeks in his too large hands. Those blue eyes that still entrance him even now go wide. It’s almost as if Kuroko’s actually looking at him like this. Kagami’s face burns even hotter at the thought, but he’s already in this deep, there’s no turning back. Not if he had a say in it.

“Is this okay?” he asks.

“Yes,” Kuroko answers without hesitation.

Then he leans closer, until he’s mere inches away from Kuroko’s lips. From this close, he can see exactly how long Kuroko’s lashes are, every fleck of starlight reflected in his irises, every jump of muscle as Kuroko’s gaze darts around his face. The warmth from Kuroko’s cheeks seeps into his palms, and Kuroko feels so _real_. He swallows.

“Is this okay?” he whispers, and their warm breaths tangle together as Kuroko’s mouth parts.

“ _Yes_.”

Electric rawness cracks in Kuroko’s voice, leaving Kagami stunned for a moment. There’s no turning back from this—it’ll change everything, change them, change their perception. But the desperation in Kuroko’s hooded eyes, like he can’t stand to wait another second, makes Kagami surge forward. No hesitation, only instinct and an adoration for a little library worker that turned his world upside down.

Then their lips are pressing together.

Kuroko makes a tiny noise in the back of his throat, one that has Kagami’s lungs fluttering and his mouth pressing harder. Kuroko’s lips are warm, a little wet, and soft in a way that makes Kagami moan. There’s no instantaneous spark, no shock to his core. Just a familiar hitch of breath and a sense of comfort that nearly brings tears to his eyes.

And Kagami’s never felt anything so perfect in his life.

He moves, brushing his mouth in a slant against Kuroko’s, and then Kuroko’s hands are clinging to the back of his shirt, hauling him even closer. But that’s still not close enough, not even when his tongue swipes Kuroko’s lips and then they’re exploring each other’s mouths. It’s not close enough until their sharing breaths, teeth nipping and moving like he can’t get enough, Kagami’s hands tangling in light blue hair while he memorizes the shape of Kuroko’s mouth.

It takes all of his willpower to pull away so they can breathe, heavy and fast against one another. And even then, Kuroko still chases after him, lips searching to barely brush against his chin.

“Still okay?” he pants, his head spinning.

“No.”

Kagami freezes, opening his eyes that he doesn’t remember closing, until Kuroko reaches out with both hands, landing on his shoulders before trailing up over his neck. Once he’s found Kagami’s face, he gently tugs his jawline, pulling him back for their lips to meet again. Kuroko takes his time with him, moving his mouth in the slowest of tempos, and pulls away with a soft bite to his bottom lip.

“You stopped,” he says simply. “That’s not okay.”

Yeah. Okay. Kagami has to agree with him on that one.

So he dips back in, with a whispered, “I can fix that,” before urging Kuroko into laying on the couch. Their hands twine together at some point, maybe when Kagami's trailing wet heat down the line of Kuroko’s pulse, and Kuroko clings to him as if he might disappear at any moment.

Kagami’s never felt his heart beat so hard in his chest. Yet it beats the same as Kuroko’s, not quite in time, but just as present.

Loving and loud.

 

* * *

 

He should’ve never let Kuroko talk him into meeting here.

It’s not that he even minds the library anymore (he’s more than familiar with all its nooks at this point), but he can only take so many of Furi’s brow waggles and winks—he knows the little shit only does it because Kuroko can’t see him do it. But today was date night, and that was more important than dealing with his embarrassment, so he navigates past the periodicals, through the kids’ section, and up to the front desk.

By some sort of miracle, Furihata’s not there, probably already headed home. But there is a head of blue hair and fingers skirting over the pages of a book, mouth turned up in a smile and eyes dancing in amusement. And that’s all Kagami needs. Kagami wants to know what’s written in those passages to have Kuroko make such a face, but he figures he’ll either hear or ask about it later.

There are more pressing matters at hand.

Kagami walks towards him and props his hip on the desk, leaning over the counter to pluck Kuroko’s book out of his hands. Kuroko stills for a moment, then melts against his chair, soft and malleable.

“Hey, I’d like to check you out,” Kagami smirks.

Kuroko sighs in response before smiling fondly, fingers searching for his book. “Kagami-kun, we’ve been dating for three months now. Please stop using that line.”

“But it keeps working.”

“It doesn’t, I assure you. I didn’t gain an interest in you because of your bad pick-up lines.”

Kagami raps his knuckles on the top of Kuroko’s head. “So you _are_ only into me for my good looks!”

“Ah, so I’ve been caught,” Kuroko says while hooking his fingers on Kagami’s wrist, following along his arm. Until he suddenly tugs, pulling Kagami practically onto the counter and into his space. “I can’t help being weak to redheads with strange eyebrows.”

Then Kuroko presses a light kiss to Kagami’s nose, the touch barely lasting a second. It makes Kagami’s nose scrunch, along with his face due to his smile. Completely different from the disappointed pout on Kuroko’s lips.

“You missed, didn’t you?”

“Don’t point out my mistakes, Kagami-kun. I’m blind and it’s rude.”

He laughs, loud enough to disturb the library. “You’re lucky I love you.”

Kuroko hums and answers with a seriousness Kagami isn’t expecting. One that leaves his heart pulsing in his throat.

“Yes. I am. More than I can say.”

Honestly, he thought he’d get used to this whole blushing thing by now, but if there’s one thing he’s learned from dating Kuroko, it’s that the little shit can drop embarrassing lines like they’re compliments. And this one’s no different, making his cheeks flush with heat and a grin stretch his face. Butterflies swell in his chest until they threaten to crack his ribs with their wingbeats. 

“Yeah, well,” he trails off to lean forward, returning the kiss to Kuroko’s nose. “I guess I’m just as lucky that you love me, right?”

And Kuroko’s answering smile is brilliant, brighter than the Los Angeles sun and warmer than all the affection Kagami could give. It’s one of those smiles that comes right from Kuroko’s core, the ones he’s getting more and more familiar with. Mostly because of how breathless they knock him.

“Yes. I suppose we’re both lucky then.”

Once his brain catches back up with his respiratory system, Kagami knocks Kuroko’s head with his book. “C’mon then! Bring the little demon and let’s go home.”

“Please don’t refer to Nigou in that regard," Kuroko chuckles.

After Kuroko gathers all of his things, Nigou following beside him happily and bag slung over his shoulder, Kagami simply takes his hand in his own. He tangles them together, small lost in large, as they head for his apartment. And if he warns Kuroko of all the dips and steps, he doesn’t even notice anymore. He just wants to know how that new book has been.

There were few places Kagami felt he belonged in this world—few meaning just the local basketball court, his warm apartment, and tucked on the couch beside Kuroko, fingers tapping on a bony hip and humming a song neither of them knew. Home used to be somewhere far and few between for him, but he’d finally found it.

After all, Kuroko is his home.


End file.
